A little bit about the author Allen Jones
I’m a husband of 31 years and a father of three kids ages 19, 23 and 25. My marriage is awesome, and my wife and I enjoy a great life together. My kids are incredible; my wife and I have not dealt with any real issues so prevalent today relating to sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, abuse, rebellion, or anything of the like. Relatively speaking, I have virtually no “family drama” in my life.
It wasn’t always this way though in my family tree. My wife and I, well we have been married three times and divorced twice to each other. Our kids, they nearly grew up in a single parent situation. And if you knew me as a younger man, you would be all the more amazed at the state of my family today.
My life is 180 degrees from how I grew up. My marriage is 180 degrees from what I experienced with my parents. My kids are 180 degrees from what I was at their ages. I was not good material as a husband or father. I got it all turned around however, and in one generation I have seen what was only possible in my wildest dreams.
You can read all about the story in my book.
Why Does It Matter?
Boys To Men – The Lost Art of the Rite of Passage is the result of reflecting on my own life; failures, false starts, bad decisions, wasted years - and the realization that it was all unnecessary. I didn't want my boys to go through those same experiences. I believed there was a better way. I searched for a process to use with my boys, one that would give them the essentials of what I believe a son needs, in order to be a real man, a good man, an authentic man, the kind of man this world so desperately needs.
As a father of two sons and one daughter, I have a vested interest in what kind of men we are creating. Make no mistake, good men are created, they don’t just happen. When I looked around and observed the institutions that most affect us; government, business, marriage, family, church, I became acutely aware of their degraded condition. When I took a further look at other elements of our culture; sports, media, film, television, music, and the like, I was only further convinced.
I was a willing participant and part of the problem for 32 years. I determined though, that I would now be a part of the solution.
Identifying a solution, implementing change, and undertaking the process was another matter. There is a lot of good material out there, but I was not able to find just the right stuff for us. So I created a process. Boys To Men is the culmination of that personal journey with my sons.
I developed and used it, field tested and tried it, and so far I can say with great excitement - it works! In one generation, from me to my boys, there has been a 180 degree turnaround.
I want to encourage you with two thoughts – First, it is doable, you change the legacy of your family in one generation with your sons. Second, it is truly a remarkable process that any man can do, intentionally raising a son. When I started the process I didn't know if what I wanted to achieve was possible, but now I know - it is achievable, and I want to share it.
What do I hope to achieve?
I want to dramatically and significantly influence and change our culture, by inspiring and motivating fathers to action. I want to equip them to be intentional about raising excellent men from the raw material that are their sons. I believe men are the problem and the solution. I want to give fathers the tools and confidence to successfully raise responsible, accountable, mature and confident young men for women to marry and to create healthy families, and to fill the existing gaping leadership hole in government, business, churches, and other areas of our culture. These will be men of high morale courage, character, integrity, vision, purpose, discipline and passion.
We have an opportunity to change the legacies of families, communities and maybe our country in a clearly defined positive way. And it begins with you, a father and his son(s). Come along side me, and together let’s turn the tide.